_winks (_winks) wrote in nonfiction,

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I would greatly appreciate some contructive criticism...please, please, and thank you.

Hi. My name is Holly, and I’m new to this community.


A few days ago I was attacked by a crow, and wrote about it in my journal.

I am really wanting to improve, and make what I write a better read. I want to be a great story teller, of my own life, but could use a lot of help and I know it. I’d really appreciate some honest, and constructive criticism. I was never enrolled in an English 12 class and thus never graduated high school. So be warned that my grammar may be less than perfect. :p If there are obvious errors with that, then feel free to tell me what they are too. I'm not going to edit this story after I read your advice, but I will definitely take it all into consideration and perhaps change something about how I write in the future. I am always wanting to improve, and could use some help from writers. But instead of just being told what is wrong with it, I would also really like to know what I did that worked well, so that I can keep that up and not be totally discouraged. But I can also take some blunt honesty. The more detailed your responses, the better. And if you don’t have much time, a quick tip for what desperately needs work, and a few words about what you think I did well would be great. Hopefully there is something you think I did well anyway. And if there is someplace where suddenly you found it really boring or annoying to keep reading please tell me what section in the story that was, and why I lost you there.

Most of my journal posts are updates on my life, and what I think and feel. But this post I wrote more with the purpose of telling this one story. And yes, it is entirely non-fiction. Please post your comments on my actual journal if possible, because I would like to have them there as a reference.


Thank you so much in advanced! I am wanting to read your responses... even if you thought it was the most dry and uncreative read you've ever encountered. As long as you tell me why, and suggest how I can prevent that in the future...I can handle most negative critiques. I really just want to get tips on how I can improve my writing, and what I'm already doing right. I’m still at the stage where I don’t even really feel comfortable calling myself “a writer”. Hopefully with improving, I will gain more confidence and become comfortable with that label.


Here's the link:



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